Buckeyroo Christian Ministries

Bits of Humor!
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Buckeyroo Bits of Humor

Children in Church
          A little child in church for the first time watched as the ushers passed the offering plates. When they neared the pew where he sat, the youngster piped up so that everyone could hear: "Don't pay for me Daddy, I'm under five." 
          A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse,  4 richer, 4 poorer."           
          After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided 
to become a minister when I grow up." 
"That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?" 
"Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen." 
  A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church service: "And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who passed trash against us." 
A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon. 
"How do you know what to say?" he asked. "Why, God tells me." "Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?" 
After the christening of his baby brother in church, 
little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat 
of the car. His father asked him three times what was 
wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That priest said he 
wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I want 
to stay with you guys!" 
          Ms. Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent. "The flight to Egypt," said Kyle."I see ... And that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus," Ms. Terri said. "But who's the fourth person?"  "Oh, that's Pontius - the Pilot. 
          A college drama group presented a play in which one character would stand on a trap door and announce, "I descend into hell!" A stagehand below would then pull a rope, the trapdoor would open, and the character would plunge through. The play was well received.When the actor playing the part became ill, another actor who was quite overweight took his place. When the new actor announced, "I descend into hell!" the stagehand pulled the rope, and the actor began his plunge, but became hopelessly stuck. No amount of tugging on the rope could make him descend. One student in the balcony jumped up and yelled: "Hallelujah! Hell is full!" 
          Pastor Dave  tells us, "After a worship service at First Baptist Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother with a fidgety seven-year old boy told me how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet. About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, 'If you don't be quiet, Pastor Dave is going to lose his place and will have to start his sermon all over again!' It worked." 
          A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was  alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again. Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?" "Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."
          "Oh," she paused, "Grandpa, did God make me too?"
          "Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better at it, isn't he?"


 Dust if you must.
 But wouldn't it be better
 to paint a picture, or write a letter,
 bake a cake, or plant a seed.
 Ponder the difference between want and need.

 Dust if you must.
 But there is not much time,
 with rivers to swim and mountains to climb!
 Music to hear, and books to read,
 friends to cherish and life to lead.

 Dust if you must.
 But the world's out there
 with the sun in your eyes, the wind in your hair,
 a flutter of snow, a shower of rain.
 This day will not come round again.

 Dust if you must.
 But bear in mind, old age will come
 and it's not kind.
 And when you go, and go you must,
 you, yourself, will make more dust.
 * * * * * * *
 Remember, a house becomes a home
 when you can write "I love you" on the furniture