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Children in Church
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A little child in church for the first time watched as the
ushers passed the offering plates. When they neared the pew where he sat, the youngster piped up so that everyone
could hear: "Don't pay for me Daddy, I'm under five."
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A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man
marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy,"
the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."
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After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided
to
become a minister when I grow up."
"That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?"
"Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to
church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen."
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A
6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church service: "And forgive us our trash passes, as we
forgive those who passed trash against us."
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A
boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon.
"How do you know what to say?" he asked. "Why, God tells
me." "Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"
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After
the christening of his baby brother in church,
little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat
of
the car. His father asked him three times what was
wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That priest said he
wanted
us brought up in a Christian home, and I want
to stay with you guys!"
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Ms. Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture,
which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent. "The flight to
Egypt," said Kyle."I see ... And that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus," Ms. Terri said. "But who's the fourth person?"
"Oh, that's Pontius - the Pilot.
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A college drama group presented a play in which one character would stand on a trap door and announce, "I descend into hell!" A
stagehand below would then pull a rope, the trapdoor would open, and the character would plunge through. The play was
well received.When the actor playing the part became ill, another actor who was quite overweight took his place. When
the new actor announced, "I descend into hell!" the stagehand pulled the rope, and the actor began his plunge, but became
hopelessly stuck. No amount of tugging on the rope could make him descend. One student in the balcony jumped up
and yelled: "Hallelujah! Hell is full!"
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Pastor Dave tells us, "After a worship service at First Baptist Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother with a
fidgety seven-year old boy told me how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet. About halfway through
the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, 'If you don't be quiet, Pastor Dave is going to lose his place and
will have to start his sermon all over again!' It worked."
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A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take
her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then
his again. Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?" "Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long
time ago."
"Oh," she paused, "Grandpa, did God make me too?"
"Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago Feeling their respective faces again, she observed,
"God's getting better at it, isn't he?"
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